Taylor Swift Released Her New Album Title And It’s Going To Be A Shade Fest For The Ages

After deleting her entire social media presence and replacing it with cryptic snake-based messages, it’s fairly safe to say that Taylor Swift is planning something. Something big. Something…musical. Today, we got the final part of the T-Swift puzzle when Taylor released the album artwork for what will be her sixth album, which we now know will be called . So yeah, I think it’s safe to say the snake emojis bothered her. A heap. And yeah, 2016 was not the best time for America Taylor Swift. Between the over-saturation and love-turned-fiery-hatred of her “squad, ” shadowed from exes and Katy Perry alike, and the now-infamous( alleged) dragging of Swiz by Kimye on Instagram, one can see why the word “reputation” would be on Taylor’s mind. But the real question is…how do feel about it? Is this going to be the barbarian applaud back against the haters that Taylor is clearly outlook it to be, or will it be a desperate strive by the world’s least coldness luminary to try and seem above it all?

Honestly, either scenario is evenly likely, so let’s speculate wildly about an album we haven’t heard yet break down the cases for and against this album.

FOR: Remember “Blank Space”?

The last hour Taylor Swift applied a chant to respond to a negative media image of her, it was the song “Blank Space”, and “its been” fucking amazing. I remember the first time I heard it. I legit started crying. That’s true-blue. It’s likewise true-life that I was balls deep in a breakup with a fuckboy and not 100% sobers but still–I cried. If this next plunge is anything like “Blank Space”, I think it’s safe to articulate drunk white-hot daughters will be screaming and hissing along to this song for the following financial year and a half.

AGAINST: Recollect The “Bad Blood” Video?

Ugh. I still have PTSD from the campaign for this video. The last-place hour Taylor revved up her social media hype machine this much, it was the unfortunate foreword of her “squad” via the “Bad Blood” video, aka “Supermodels With Stupid Names Green Screened In Front Of Fire In A Weird Attempt To Intimidate Katy Perry” Taylor met every model she could find and Mariska Hargitay for what was supposed to be a badass girlfriend influence anthem, and turned out to be a bunch of awkward non-actors in leather and Lena Dunham smoking a cigar. If the word “squad” induces your stomach churn, you are able to detect that seeming back to this fucking video. If Taylor’s latest social campaign is anything like her last, Swifties will ruin the notion of “snakes” so fast Satan will have to re-brand.

FOR: I Intend, It’s Taylor Swift

Say what you want about Taylor–that she’s a serpent( she is ), a delusional dater( oh honey yes ), and just like kind of annoying( yup ), but homegirl “ve never” released a bad album. Never.? That shit was jam-pack.? Yes delight. Literally the totality of? Iconic. If literally every album Taylor Swift has in the past released is any indication, this one is very likely to be good.

AGAINST: The Lady Doth Protest Too Much

Sorry to get all Cliff’s Notes Shakespeare on ya, but this all seems a little desperate, doesn’t it? It’s like, the girl who tries to prove she’s over her ex by talking about how over her ex she is every second. At this degree, I suppose the only thing that is 100% clear about this album is that Taylor Swift did not appreciate the serpent memes, and would like to be excluded from this narrative, but likewise wants to control the narrative with an iron fist. Like, is this an album, or a pity party? Likewise just like, take a shot and get over it girl, you’re still a fucking millionaire.

So there we have it. It’s a glean. This album is either going to be the best fucking lower of 2017( likely) or a cringe-worthy Pinterest board of cliche comebacks set to a mediocre fraternity thump( “Swish Swish”) that will stimulate us miss the working day when she was filling our newsfeeds with pictures of her and Cara Delevigne and using lily-white feminism to boost record marketings. If there’s one thing the we do know, nonetheless, it’s that this new Dark Taylor is definitely coming for Kim Kardashian, and I literally cannot wait to see how Kim responds.